


Hope

by PeterJackReed



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Cute, Depressed Newt, First work - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, Glade, M/M, Protective Newt, Short One Shot, enjoy, greenie thomas, information we learn in book 3, newt and thomas - Freeform, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5088914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterJackReed/pseuds/PeterJackReed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt can't do it anymore. Being in this place, feeling empty, with nothing to hold on to. It's too much for him, he had lost hope, until a greenie shows up. He's kinda different, he's curious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language

I was standing here, alone in the Glade, just watching the black sky. My skin was goose bumped, my heart was landing on the floor. I feel so broken, you know, so bloody broken. What's the point ? I've been here since the first day of this masquerade, and nothing has changed since. A newbie every month, maybe we're doing it way better that we were used to. But that's useless, for three bloody years, I've been here, watching everyone, running the maze, crying the dead. I'm so tired of doing it. I can't cry anymore when a young guy dies, thankfully it doesn't happen often, now I'm not even angry, just jaded. It's just a bloody sick joke shank. Someone is sitting behind a screen, laughing at us, like mice trapped in a damn experimental maze. And god, if he can watch me down here, knows I tried. I've run the maze every day, every little part, each corner, each trap, I know them. And I can't take it anymore, running, hoping that the way out will appears in front of me. Bloody stupid idea, but I just want to feel something. Just anything, I lose hope, what is it left for me now ? I'm a body made of fear and dread. A smile crept on my face, I'm turning out to be a bloody poet. What a beautiful runner am I. 

I'm just tired of this routine, day after day, keeping pretending that everything is alright. But the truth is that I can't do it, telling people to keep faith whereas I lost it. I'm just waiting for the night, just waiting for everything to wash away in the dark. I'm so empty right now, it's awful because my life it's pointless. I hope, at least, that the guy who is watching us, had a great show because I'm done playing.

I think it's OK, I can see the ground but I'm pretty high and ... my arms can't pull me. The wind blow on my face lightly, my hair pass in front of my eyes. I take a good look around, I'm so bloody sorry shanks, but I hope you'll do it without me. A red light pierces the dark, I don't know if somebody is on the other side of this thing, but I look at it. I hate them for making me feel like this, hopeless. I murmur a "good bye, this is on you, but I'll be happy soon". I close my eyes and just, let it go. My body is falling, a smile on my lips, and I hit the ground painfully. Everything turn black, a warm darkness surrounds me. And it's over.

Is it paradise ? I saw a light, too bright, too white, it's hurts. My whole body is hurting so much. A voice comes from a distance place. And everything makes sense, it's Minho talking to me, I can say that he's mad. He's right, bloody hell, I'm alive.

So stupid of you Newt, I can't even kill myself correctly. When I open my eyes, the world goes crazy. I saw Minho's ugly face, I can tell he'd been crying. I see others gladers in the blur, everybody seems relief that I'm conscious.

After the talk, you know, your friends, actually Minho, trying to understand and to talk about why I didn't tell him. He made me promise that I'll not do it again. I guess I can try to live a little more for him, but I'm not sure it's gonna last. Before the shank had left, he'd told me about my leg, it was the best they could do with the stuff Wicked had send. Maybe I couldn't use it anymore, or maybe I could but I'll have a limp. I'm so tired again, I can't escape the glade you know, even when I'll get out of my bed, I can't be a runner because I can't kill myself successfully.

I've a limp, it's kinda weird but everybody says that it isn't a thing we notice easily. Like I thought, I can't be a runner. Alby offered me to choose an activity and being the keeper. It's not very fair, but nobody is against it, everyone wants me to be happy. So be it.

I'm here, in the field, trying to make the Glade works properly. I decided to be the second in command, you know, Alby needed help and it keep me busy, make me feel like I'm trying to arrange the life of the others a bit, doing something good. Everything is forgotten, nobody talks about my suicide attempt. All the attention is on the new guy is the joke of the glade, name's Chuck, and he's bloody scared of .. everything. But I can't blame him, it's not nice to wake up in a place like that, with only a name to hang on.

The ring is shucking my ears, almost forget about the newbie who is coming today. The box is coming, and here I am again, waiting for the shank. I'll be the good guy after Alby "name investigation".

We are all looking down, looking at the greenie. He's dark-haired young teen, maybe sixteen, with big scared browns eyes. He seems panicked like every greenie, he's lost and sweaty, but it's kinda a beautiful disaster.

After Alby rough presentation, the poor shank is against a tree, we all learn that the boy is named Thomas, and that's the only thing Alby want to know from him. He explains rapidly that someone will get him and made him visit. That's not nice, but he's mad at the guy for asking question. Can't blame him, he heard the song many times before and he can't stand it. I look at Thomas, everyone is working now like nothing happens, and I see something that makes me smile, the poor shank is trying to pull it together, and when I come to present myself, he asks me something directly.

"Slim it Tommy" I said, a real smile on my face for once. I like him, he's not like the newbies I've seen before, he's curious. He really wants to understand, and that trick something inside me. He looks better now, his eyes are really hypnotizing. I hope we can be friend, and I don't know why I said that, but he seems to be interesting, at least it's what I can tell from our little visit of the Glade. "And .. what do we eat ?" he asks me, but I don't really listen because something I said hit me. I used the word "hope". 

I like this shank, really like him. I remember when we talked the night. He was afraid of sleeping, he had nightmares, and I was glad to keep talking with him until he falls asleep. It started naturally. When he sleeps, I just can't prevent myself from looking at his angelic face. Like the world was gone, a peaceful expression. Night after night and during the day, I was falling for you Tommy. Bloody me, can't keep my shucking heart in the right place.

I know I fell for him, really hard. I like everything about him, even the not-so-sexy-gestures you know. I remarked a lot, the way his eyes shine when he looks at me, the chocolate and the ochre shades. The way he walks in the Glade, I even fell for his bloody questions. His breathing makes me relax at night, I feel alive when he's around.

But life's a bitch, you can't escape from hell. It's a cold reminder when Alby and Minho doesn't come back from the shucking Maze. The doors will be closing any minutes now. And I'm just standing here, memories replaying in my head. I remember too well what could happen inside of this thing. It's like going on the monster's maw, one mistake and you get eaten. I just wish, they had never found that griever, the one who dies. They just will be here with me, right now. And I hate myself because there is nothing I could do, the rules are the rules. They may seems stupid, but it's here for a reason. We can't risk someone else life. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It's Tommy, asking me why I'm so worried. It's hard to explain him, not letting him know that I'm freaking out.

"They won't come back." I said finally when the doors begin to move.

"Here !" Tommy scream, pointing at them at the end of the corridor. And the world goes wild, the few gladers here scream encouragement. Tommy looks at me, I know he can see the tears in my eyes. But they aren't gonna make it. I see the door and Tommy makes a quick movement, he wants to run to help them. My hand brushes against his arm but he's too fast, and he runs like a bloody idiot. The door smack in a big noise, muffling the name I'm shouting at the top of my lungs. And everything goes quiet, my lips close on a murmur "Tommy" and I just lost three of my friends.

Nobody can survive the night in the maze. Nobody did it. I really want to hope, but Tommy isn't here, the word means nothing if he's not around. What's the purpose ? My heart won't shut up about it, that part of me that say "you're gonna see him again, you love him". Half true, and my tears are falling in the dark night. I'm sobbing alone in front of these big stone doors that separate me of them. They don't deserve to die, I do. I'm just feeling even worse than before, and it's been a while since I've those thoughts. Tommy changed something inside of me, made me happy. But now he's not here, I feel broken, and I can't stop crying in the dark. The name goes over and over in my mind, until I fell asleep on the ground. Fists clench on my shirt, I just want them to be with me. I just want to hug Tommy so hard that he'll never leave me. I give my life in exchange of their, so please.

The door moves, the sun is barely up in the sky. My eyes are red, I can't feel it, that sensation when you cried a lot, too much. My head is turned over the corridor that appears in front of me. And I know it's useless to have a little flame of hope in my heart, but if a shank can surprise me, it's Tommy. When I can pass through the door, I don't think twice before going into the maze. Some of the guys are running towards me, I can hear them calling my name. I can't wait for them, I've to know. I walk as fast as I can, turning left when I bump into something.

It's a bloody tired young handsome man, with cute moles on his face, Tommy. And next to him, Minho who seems to be as tired as Tommy. A tear rolls on my cheek, my heart is so relieved, it's a bloody firework in my mind. And I can't prevent it, I hug Tommy, don't even care if it's inappropriate. I tap Minho gently on the back.

"You shank, beds are waiting for you" I smile. Tommy looks at me, he murmurs something, trying to stay standing. "We need .. Alby"

The runners are going to the maze when we came back. I can't tell that everybody is astonished.

When Tommy and Minho are both in bed at the homestead, I can sit in Tommy's room. I feel so happy, it's weird. I can't believe they did it, my eyes are fixed on Tommy breathing, I'm just so afraid he vanishes once again.

"Newt" someone is squeezing my shoulder, I woke up slowly on the chair, must fell asleep. I'd a shitty night. Tommy is looking at me, he seems to be alright. And I'm so glad it wasn't a dream, the brunette is here, just in front of my shucking face. He sits on the bed, tapping next to him. I just sit down next to him, I'm relief he's ok but he's not getting through easily. I hit his arm, an exclamation of pain.

"What did you do that ?"

"I'm glad you're alive Tommy" I breath loudly "but you have no right to go outside and leave me here !". I didn't want to scream, but I was so damn afraid.

"I'm sorry, Newt, I swear. But it's alright, we're safe."

He doesn't get it, "You don't understand ! Did you think about me ? What will I become without Tommy ? What if you've died ? I'll have lost three of my bloody friends !" I'm standing in front of him now, he has to understand he can't do that, never again.

"And now every one of them are safe thanks to me and Minho." I can tell he's trying to stay calm.

"You .."

He jumps of the bed, anger in his eyes "What the hell Newt ? Aren't you happy ? If you prefer me dead, fine. I'll go to the maze and not come back." He's biting his lips, his breath is brushing my face.

"It's not that Tommy .. It's just .. If I lost you ... I ..I" and bloody hell this is too much for me. I know I look pitiful, standing here, sniffing, trying to not cry, again. I look at the floor, ashamed. And next thing I know, Tommy is hugging me thight. His head on my shoulder, talking softly "I'm sorry Newt". I grab his shirt, I just feel right here, in his arms. I can smell his scent, and I could spend the rest of my life smelling it. "I'm glad you save them Tommy. You're ... you're just bloody important to me." I murmur, he doesn't say anything, maybe he hadn't heard. But I feel his nose in my neck, his breathing leaving goose bumps on my skin. And I'm blushing like crazy when he asks "How much important ?".

This is the place, the moment, here in the darkness of the bedroom, in his embrace. I've to tell him, I might never have the chance again, especially if he still wants to be a runner. "You're the most important thing in my world Tommy. You just came here, and my life better you can't imagine. If I lose you Tommy I'm not sure I can do it .." I can't find the right words. I can not see Tommy reaction but I need to say it "I love you so bloody much Tommy". He moves, and my heart skips a beat, what did I just do ? My hands are shaking a little when I meet his glare. Surprisingly, he has one of his big beautiful smile and he leans in, his lips touching mine. And it's the most wonderful thing in the world.

"I love you too, Newt" he said, his lips so close to mine, "but if I'm not here, you can still do it, you're one of the bravest people I know." He smiles, his eyes locked with mine. And I can see how much he cares about me. I hope he can understand how much he means to me. "I'm not sure Tommy.. I wasn't in a good place before, but you offered me so much. You gave me hope."

**Author's Note:**

> This is the end of this short story, I really hope (that's funny right ?) that you liked it. Please, if you want to leave a comment or something like a kudo, feel free to do it !
> 
> I hope it wasn't bad


End file.
